Christmas Day

So i decided that i should use this blog to keep the world updated our life. lol not that much happens for us but thats ok. I am still at the resturant and not loving it. hahaha what can you do. We had a wonderful christmas out first christmas as a married couple and are year anneversiary of are engagement. it was a wonderful two days. Edwin got me an Awesome camera! i love takin pictures and now that i have this awesome camera i cant wait to start taking as many pictures as possible. But i am kinda trying to wait until it gets a little bit warmer because it is freezing. like so cold i cant breath hahah. I got Edwin a cute little pistol for christmas seeing his face when he found out was so awesome i loved it! edwin was awake at six because he was so excited for christmas so he woke me up and we went and opened our presents together :) it was a perfect christmas. then we went to my sister in laws house and had christmas breakfast and opened presents with all of them and edwin spent like two hours putting together this cool race track that ray got lol it was awesome me and callie took pictures with our new cameras. then we went to my parents house for dinner and to exchange presents from all of us :) it was fun. we got to see my grandparents lol they are so so so funny hahaha love them. edwin is so bored with nothing to do. but dude its cool :) well have a good day!

I love the poeple in my life. everyone plays such an important role and it amazes me the small things that some people do that effect just the simplest thing. it is such a testimony to me that we are all here for a reason. and for each other. our heavenly father would not put us on this earth without someone to lean on. my biggest stuggle is swalling my pride and allowing myself to lean on someone else. its not that i am to proud but i dont want to bother anyone with my problems when i know that they have there own struggles. All of us with this gospel in our lifes are so blessed and we dont reliaze it until its about gone. i have gone through a rough part where i felt the blessing slipping out of my grasp. and i watched myself give up. it was not my proudest moment. but i am learning SO much that i never would have learned with out this experiance! i thought i was strong and maybe i was but not as strong as i am becoming after i over come all of this and let myself learn! fighting temptaion is my biggest teacher! I had a complete different picture for my life. a eaiser way that would have kept me sturdy and strong but one that would have never let me learn or even grow! and now i can look and i can see that. i can see how easy it would have been but how much more rewarding this is. it is definetly not easy at all! in fact it may be the hardest thing that i have ever done! and somedays i feel that it is only getting harder. but i am living day by day. and doing my best each day to be my best. because i think if i had the attitude that i need to always be the best i can. thats to overwhelming. but if i wake up every day saying "today i will be the best i can be" then my goal is eaiser to achieve because i am focuse on a little part. i have messed up.and i know that i have let alot of people down. and they would never admit it to me because they love me. but i want to make them all proud! and i am going to do my best that i can. i want to be better. and I AM GOING TO GO THROUGH THE TEMPLE! i will make them all proud of me again. i will show them that i am that girl and i am strong! i cant control alot of things in my life right now. but i can control my decsiions and that all i can do right now. and at times i feel helpless and alone. and i dont feel worthy for my heavenly fathers love or approval. and i need to forgive myself before i can love myself again. what will happen in the future i dont know. i know what i hope for but what is to be. is still a mystery to me. and maybe thats the way it should be. maybe thats my motivation. to make my own future! to build my own! all in all i am what i will always be. but i can always better that person and always grow and i have been given such a great oppurtunity with these trails to grow. now if only i can find the strength to keep going then i will make it and i will be ok. i will.

Testamony

I made this video while i was in college. it was awesome to make and such a testiment to my testamony. I love the picture of the girl who has sinned and then later in the film she is sitting wiht him clean again. I love my savior i love the support and love i feel from him when i feel like i have no where else to go. i know i have messed up and i know i am not perfect but i know that the lord is waiting for me with open arms just waiting for me to turn back to him. i am so glad that he still loves me because i am a screw up. the lord still blesses me day by day. with an amazing husband good boss great family loving parents great brothers and sisters. i deserve none of it but i still love the blessings that i have been givin i love my savior i love that i have the truth and i can not wait to entire his house and covenent with him forever!

HIGH SCHOOL.

I just realized. . . . that although i was apparently the lame girl who was not the pretty girl, not the homecoming queen, not the girl you would want to ask out on a date, i was the last resort girl. the relaiable friend that you could blow off over and over again and she would still be there. i was goofy looking and maybe had a pretty good personality and i was the girl that no one noticed in the hall the girl you would just walk right by and not even notice she was in the room. I WAS THAT VERY STRANGE GIRL but i liked that girl. I was what i was no questions asked. and ya i am growin up and becoming stronger. i stand up for my self a bit more and you know what is awesome and still amazes me SOMEONE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME! my husband fell in love with me and he loves me. honestly i look back at my old self and i miss her but i also feel bad for her. i dont know people look at my drivers license when i was sixteen and i thought i looked pretty good and they always every time they see it.. they make fun. and i end up back in this whole... ( not as deep as i was ) feeling insecure sad and lonely. i thought i looked good for my pitcure and it hurts i guess. and then i remember when i was fifteen at stephanies birthday party and the little boys that where a year younger than me who never saw me. i was invisable to them and then they called me the ugly girl! how are kids so mean and i thought i looked nice on thiss day as well. i have alot more confidence now. and what ever but when i think about it i get in this whole and i am sad about the way people looked at me. they never saw what was on the inside i hope i was nice to as many people as i could i never wanted to make any one feel invisable!! I want to make a difference to those kids who are good kids amazing kids with amazing personalitys but are invisable to the world because they dont have the looks. i dunno high school just has me thinking about what i can do different now. there are tons of kids who are good kids who do what there told and never get any reconition because there not trouble makers or good at sports or sad and deppresed. they need love to. my husband he saw me and i will be eternally grateful for him looking for me. who nows i dunno i am having a hard time. expressing my self *sigh* i hope my little sister is not invisable when she is at school. i doubt she is because she is so very strong! but i pray that she makes her self seen and she demands respect from others in the way i never ever did. :)

blah blah blah

SO... lol i should be doing laundrey but ugh i dont want to! so sunday we went to my friend brandon youngs homecoming that kid is pretty amazing its crazy to think how much he grew in two years it was awesome. we went to lunch with stephy sill girl i love her. and had dinner wiht my parents then we came home and i made a snow man and i used oreos to as the eyes and buttons but as soon as i put them on my dog ate them! then the next mornin g i looked out the window and there was a bird sitting on the snow mans head eating one of the eye balls. so now my snow man is tilted and has one eye ball and two arms! that is all that counts i am telling you. so i need to start rapping my presents. hmmm so my friend sarah she is getting married wow i dunno what to think about that cause ya long story but i am her friend and i am going to be there to support and love her cause she was for me! i do love her as well. well i suppose i should go do my laundrey :) yo yo have a good one!

left or right?! hmmm

During the past few weeks i have been able to do much thinking. In the past eight months my life has changed dramaticly I moved away from home lol got married and had to adapt to a difffernt way of life. It deffinatly has not been the easiest thing i have ever done and it is still hard. Like any one else in this world i have my good and my bad days. i wish there was a way i could make life perfect but i dont believe there is. I look at people who seem to have the perfect life who seem to never have to face any trails or temptaion. At first my first thought is " That is so not fair." And on a bad day I look back and i see everything i have been through and I feel sorry for myself. but then as I CHOOSE to look at things differently i see that things are happining for a reason. there are times that i can look into the future and be happy with what i see coming. but i also am afraid. afraid that i have messed up to badly for things to turn out the way i alway planned. they say the first step to repantace and forgivness is forgiving your self. and that is not easy no east at all. I was told once that the choices that we make may not always make sense or even seem like the right decsion but i believe that the lord is not going to let me make a decision that is going to effect me so badly that i do not learn anything form the struggles that come with the decsion. I do not understand the stuff that I have to struggle through and it seems as if it is a never ending fountain of trail after trail. but my mind has been made up that i an do this i just need to keep going one day at a time, cause thats all i can do to make sense of anything that goes on any more! I have always had a hard time letting my fear over take my faith. Fear is my biggest temptaiotion. i give in to fear everytime. what will they thing? how will they react? will they still love me? who is looking at me? they are all types of fear that is very difficult for me to control and then fear leads my decsions. i know i have talked about this before. How do we control the fear from over taking our faith. THAT I DO NOT KNOW! and it is something that i believe that you must figure out for your self only you can decide how to control your feel and to build your faith so that it is stronger than your fear. but we are lucky enough to have ways to help us reach that personal decsion. listin to the advice of others pray for guidence and search the scriptures. there are ways to find the faith in every day. just look for it. lol maybe one day ONE DAY i will be able to take my own advice ha ha maybe . . . . . . . .

I AM DIFFERENT DEAL WITH IT.

I AM DIFFERENT deal with it :0.



I had a wonderful day at work today. it was so slow i wanted to cry lol. but it was better then it has been for a long time. my boss lady is sick poor lady she works her self sick. i wish i could like do it for her BUT i am to stupid. but i was happy today. lol i hope that i am making a difference in some ones life lately i work with these young girls and ya know i hope i am an example to them. cause in acctuality they are the examples to me. ya know have a wonderful day yo!

bad bad day

i TRY really hard to not let things bug me. but today was ruff. people at work were really mean to there stressed out waitress.(me) you know some things that you say really hurt a person. i am doing better with my self confidence and i am doing good and then AND THEN some one i trust SHUT ME DOWN and every single bit of self respect i had is completly CRUSHED! and i am working on my self confidence and ya know its hard stuff. but i am ok i am ok i am ok/ thanx for the support.

the ramblings

So pretty much i couldnt sleep last night so i started up this blog again i dunno really what i am doing and i really dont care if any one reads it but i am going to use it any ways :) so its saturday and me and my wonderful husband are sitting in our basement watching tv trying to cool off its so hot outside. we bumbed around today and later we are going to go mini golfing with our friends. its good to get out and go be with each other. we have been married for over three months now and its crazy awesome. i feel so old sometimes i mean i am married in a house with a husband lol and a dog. i grew up so fast you know it. my goodness. i took this english class my freshman year of college and the teach would always tell us to never think to much about what we were righting just to right so thats what i am going to do so if this doesnt make sense its cause i am just wrighting it comes to my head and i am letting it flow right out my finger tips its funnier this time.

so the day i got married it was a rainey day and the funniest thing happenend edwin forgot his tux pants lol in mount and we were in payson. so he barrowed his brother in law ricks and rick went to wal mart and got a pair it was so funny and then he blamed me lol silly buy ( he was teasing) he teases me alot a guess its carma for all the teasing i did in my younger years i married a big tease. thats ok i still love him. although there are those times that i cant tell if he is seriouse of kidding. but i dont care still love the boy.

so the wierdest thing lol i am always thinking about what i want to name my kids lol even though i can wait awhile for them i just wonder about it. i never come up with any names though. but any ways.

this is the way most of my blogs will be lots of rambling and once in a while something deep and intiguing might appear. but probably not to often! all right i am out!

who i am now

Ok so here it is... my life givin to you and 2:13 in the morning on my couch watching spongebob

My name is Kylee Ann Christensen it used to be Franson until i met a boy... a boy named Edwin. some how this boy swept me off my feet it took us the best summer of my life to fall in love the boy just wouldnt get out of my head. he would drive after a long day of work to come see me and then still have to get up early the next morning and then by the end of that year we were engaged. it was so perfect this boy knew some how exactly the way i always dreamed of it. i never told him and he just knew. And so on April 11 2009 we were married. We were not married in the temple like i had always planned but we are working torwards that goal we arnt perfect but we are living our life the best way that we know how. we have a little house in Mnt. Pleasant and we couldnt be happier kids arnt in the plans for a few more years. but we have a dog that we named bell and she is adorable ;) we are in love and we are happy.

I am working in a little resturant in Manti. I love being a waitress. its not always the funnest job and i dont want to do it for the rest of my life but for now i enjoy it. my boss is my mom away from my mom. she takes care of me as if i was her own sometimes we even fight like mother and daughter she is awesome!! Work is a big part of my life because it is the only outing i get to be around people i know and so i enjoy it as much as i can.

My family is living in Payson where i grew up. and i do miss it there. but i love my life here. I am the oldest of Five kids and I love it. the stress of being an expamle is not always easy but i love my brothers and sisters. i hope that there lifes find as much happiness that they can. My parents are two very amazing people the married young and had a baby young to. they raised me to the best they could and the did a damn good job if i do say so. i look back and how they raised me and i dont regret any choices they made for me. my grandparents are also a great influnce in my life. there isnt much to say about but they are amazing they always looked after my family i love them so very much.

I am afraid of many things in life. but i am trying to stop letting fear run my life. i am just living it day to day and i have a damn good life. i am not perfect by any means people think i am stuck up but really its intimidation i take a long while to warm up to people and be myself and that does come off snobish but its not like that at all. so get to know somebody long before you judge them cuase you dunno who they are or what they are feeling.

I have good friends they are there for me when i need them even if they dont know it thanx guys